Update on Writings

I'm still not sure how the character in my new story, a phobic female non-popper who never throws away her balloons, makes the transition to being a popper. Usually this is the kind of thing I like to know before I start writing an actual manuscript. But somehow I just decided that I needed to write, to get to know the young lady before I put her through, well, whatever is going to change her mind and turn her life in a different direction.

So far, about a thousand words in, I still have no idea. But I think I know the character pretty well, so once I've reviewed a few ideas about how such a conversion might take place, I'll know which ones are not credible for her, and which are. With luck, one will stand out as being just right for her. I welcome any suggestions from those who have made the transition.

On the non-fiction front, I haven't gotten as many responses to my requests for research material as I had hoped, and I think I'm going to have to be a little more aggressive in going after information. Don't worry, I won't bite. But I will be asking people I know online (and find online) in a more direct manner as time goes on.

Meanwhile, I've decided that I am going to turn the one book into two books. The first will be a personal perspective on balloon fetishism, out of my own experiences and what I have observed over the past five decades that I have had these strong feelings for balloons. Why? Because I feel the need to get something out soon, to counter some misinformation that's already out there, and more that I expect in the near future (I won't go into detail about that—I just want some facts on our side).

And I don't want to give the second book, with real stories from real fetishists to show the depth and breadth of these feeling, short-shrift. I don't want to feel rushed to get something to press and find that I have left important aspects out, or misinterpreted what I've read online without getting the whole story.

So that's where I am now. I'll keep everyone up to date.

Getting Organized

Although I've already written a lot of words for the new book (which I need to get a working title for soon so I stop referring to it as "the new book"), I'm a long way from actually writing anything I would call a completed book. There is so much research to do, so many people to contact, so much thinking about the format of the book, and how I'm going to correlate everything that I find out so that it all works together without denigrating into dry statistics or trite (and wholly inaccurate) classifications.

And so the organization is not just of the kind where I make sure my files are all in the right places and that my GMail folders are set up just so. It's the mental organization of the concepts.

I've decided on a format for the book. And yet I'm fairly sure that by the time I've written the first draft, I will have discovered that the format I thought was just right is, in fact, totally inappropriate for the job.

But that's the way of writing, when it's working as it should. Not just words on paper, but a voyage of discovery. And when we all get there, I think that I will be as surprised as you to see what the final product looks like.

That Reminds Me

Sometimes exploring balloon fetish forums and monitoring Tweets that mention balloon fetishes makes me think of something I should have remembered, but didn't. For example, a recent Tweet that started out being about the show Strange Sex turned out to be from someone who once dated a balloon fetishist.

It was one of those "duh!" moments when I realized that I hadn't even thought about attempting to interview partners and former partners, not to mention friends and family, of balloon fetishists. But it's an important part of the story. How we share, or choose not to share, our fetish depends a lot on the reactions those around us have to balloons and, assuming they know about them, our feelings toward balloons.

And so I'm asking for stories and opinions for anyone out there who is or has been the partner of a balloon fetishist, or knows one as a friend or family member. I want to know how you feel about it, what if any problems it's caused, how you cope if you do. And although this book is written by a balloon fetishist, sympathetic to my fellow fetishists, I'm also looking for the truth of the matter, because understanding this special love we have for balloons is not going to be the results of painting it in the best of all possible lights. It will come from telling the facts as they are, as best I can.

And while I'm thinking about it, I'd also like to hear from fetish models who do balloon pictures and videos, phone sex workers who have dealt with balloon fantasies with customers, and prostitutes who have indulged balloon fantasies. Everything is completely anonymous, of course.

If I'm going to do this, I should get the whole picture.

Collecting Stories

I have already gotten a few emails from balloon fetishists telling me how their fetish started, and what they like to do with balloons, and what other fetishes (if any) they have, and I can already, at this early stage in the process, discern two important facts:

First, I really have my work cut out for me. These stories are detailed and intimate and open and honest, but they elicit even more questions. And I think I have only gotten a tiny hint, even with all the years I've spent in online forums with other balloons fetishists, of the enormous variety of interests and experiences that I am going to be exposed to.

Second, this is going to be a fascinating experience. Even over the course of reading just these few emails, I have found myself thinking things like, "I never thought of that," and "I thought he was leading to something just like my own experiences, until he said that."

I think that by the time I have finished researching this book, I will have changed a lot of my own conceptions about what it is to be a balloon fetishist, in ways I never imagined. And while I usually start a book or story with some idea of what the end product will look like, I have a feeling that for this book, the final form will bear little resemblance to what is currently in my head.

It might be the most interesting writing experience I've ever had.

I'm Writing Another Book

I was considering writing a sequel to Blowing It! after letting that first novel find its audience, perhaps in a year or two, because although I have made less money per hour as a balloon-fetish novelists than at any other pursuit aside from, perhaps, taking online surveys, the fact is that I have come to love my characters enough to think that they deserve to live on beyond the one book.

What I absolutely did not intend to do was write a factual book about balloon fetishes. I am no expert, beyond having a balloon fetish myself and the reading I've done, not so much of academic studies and papers, but of correspondence and online postings from the balloon community at large. And that does not give me any deep understanding of the causes of, or the details about, the wide variety of balloon fetishes in the world.

But then along comes Taboo from National Geographic. And Strange Sex on Netflix. And then thinking back to the few times others outside actual participants in balloon fetishism have tried to portray us as if they had a firm grasp of the facts and feelings of our fetish—and failing utterly. Branding us with cute names like "looners," and dividing us into neat categories like "poppers," "non-poppers," and "semi-poppers," as if we are so easily defined.

And worse yet, using the most far-fetched psychological (psycho-illogical?) theories to explain why we feel what we feel, and what balloons represent to us, and passing themselves off as experts. Do you realize the "expert" that Taboo featured is a journalism student?

And so, to combat this nonsense, I am writing a factual book, Not a comprehensive look at balloon fetishism, not an attempt to explain, but an attempt to show the human side of our special fetish, to show some of the great variety of both people and balloon interests. And to dispel some of what has been said about us in other media.

Will I succeed? The only way for me to find out is to write, publish, and wait. You, on the other hand, can help. If you have a balloon fetish, and would like to give me some of the information I need to achieve a realistic and sympathetic (and non-sensational) portrayal of people who love balloons, then drop me a line at balloonfetishauthor@gmail.com and let's start a dialogue.

Don't look for this book in a month. Maybe a year if I'm lucky. But I feel strongly enough that I really don't care how long it takes. At this point it's a book that's begging me to write it.